darren’s life

why ppl beside you who care you the most will always be the one who annoy you the most? and easily rose up quarrel the most as well?

does anyone know?

just like mum, dad… im sure most of the kids nowadays will dislike strict supervision, constant lecture or too many "rules" to be set up just for their own son and daugthers’ good, which people always take these care as granted….. we will always talk back or feeling annoying coz we do not like to be criticize of our mistake…. apparenly that most of us are win-face…. we hate to be a loser even tou we r loser as we like to deny that we are wrong, and hence, it will trigger anger within our self and start to argue to win. however, if we stay calm and analyse clearly, all the anoyance and arguing are actually LOVES….

an internal love that we will hardly feel it into our heart if we did not stay calm and think to find out. in fact, this "invisible love" is very strong and powerful if you know how to deal with and cherish it.  but most of the time, you will only feel this love when it is in too late situation, when you are growing untill when you have lost something or someone that "annoy" you the most as they left behind memories, valuable lesson, caring and annoyance to you that will deeply sink into your mind. you feel it when you are alone and lonely… you feel it when you are in trouble or in regret or u probably lost the usual life of being scolded, criticize and lectured and you finally started to realised!!!!! and you miss him or her alot!!!!!

… unless you really a person that born without heart, or too tough or stubborn, then you will never feel it.. eveytime we can see couple hugging, petting , having sweet talk or kissing around, those are part of love, an external love which we can easily see and feel the most, esp in the movie, as we like to see thing in strait and clear, most of the human dislike thing too complicated to be treated, they like easy n fast…   what iam talking about is something that physical and phycological…

i, recently hate myself when i recall of all the mistake which i have done and gone tru all these months to my dear. like all the insensitive guy out there, iam jus normal and like simple thing, want everything in perfect and enjoy life as usual…. however, then your life chain has been broken and has receive lecture or critism from her, quarrel always rose up by me…i dun feel like listening to every word she say until the phone was ended in silence and for a couple of hours, my stupid brains started to function and realise she actually point out all my mistakes and failure that have been hinding behind me which i never realise..  a deep consoderation and recall back, i started to feel bad. feel sorry to treat her that way again n again…because previously our quarrel always been settled half-ass and the nex day we treated as nth happen… we love each other…. and wish nth serious would have had happened, hence we din talk much….. well, frankly, not a good solution to it….

i feel proud to have a dear who is so strait at pointing out my mistake all the time……she no give face to say out … coz she has nth to hide to me and all she need is to let me know wat am i n wat she thk in strait and what she wants me to learn and change to get rid of the bad habit..everything she said is logical.. i believe most ppl will not accpet this method of pointing however, strait to the point is her strenght and as well as her weakness. strenght is her braveness to tell, to tell everything that strait from her and what she thinks, weakness is easily hurt someone, to hurt someone from words, to sting you with words and make u feel humiliating, n u might tot she or him was insulting you.

to see it in a different angle,  The more im with her, the more i learn, the more mistake i made, the more i learn and the more she quarrel with me the more love we create. iam so touched that she still support and got patience to me tou i hurt her so many time…, i would like to thank her for letting me grow up my mind just to be with her!!!! i love her so much and i wish to be more mature in way of thinking.. it was a great gift from her to me….iam very regret for what i have done to her and hope i will gradually change and not always dissapoint you in the future…to change urself to be a better person is hard, however to change urself to a dark side it is easy… every good thing is hard to achieve… if u can achieve it, you are the winner of all…i gonna prove myself…iam sure time will change and cure everything….(some say that if a person who can changer you and teach you to be a better person, you will never ever forget him or her as they will always remain in your heart esp when they are gone as you are applying their system and guildance to make your life better and made it into a habit)…

do cherish the ppl beside you who care and annoy you the most now!!!!!!!…. know wat they want and and try to find out the answer within them and find out why they will say so, i know it is hard, but u need to find a key to open up your heart 1st, that is calm, patience and understanding….accept all comments from others ……………..before you talk, thk about urself 1st!  dont let them go away from you!!!

dedicated to all my friends and to my loves one…